"Attention-seeking Bitches"
...Children masquerading as adults, or bullies masquerading as victims?
By Corey Springer
Written for: The NarkSide; Wednesday 13th May 3:35 a.m.
Re-Written: Wednesday July 15 2009 for Kurama Magazine
Confused as to why I would be writing about relationship issues?
Don't be.
Health is about synergy... i.e. a sum of parts, each area influencing and supporting another.
Relationship issues affect how we function.
Relationships affect how our bodies work.
So... today's rant is about relationships!
I'm *very* sure many of your have been on the receiving end of erratic behavior(s) in your relationships. Anyone who has spent but five minutes perusing the NarkSide relationship forum would probably come to the very same conclusion: Crazy bitches abound. I use 'bitches' in an extremely generalized manner for this discussion... as 'bitch behavior' isn't limited to any one sex at any one time. Let's face it... guys and girls both get their undies in a bunch.
That being said, anecdotal evidence would suggest that attention-seeking behavior is surprisingly frequent in adult relationships.
"Really Nark?"
"Yes dude!"
Oftentimes significant others seek to be the "the center of attention" so as to alleviate feelings of inadequacy.
Again:
"Really Nark?"
"Yes dude!"
However, as the underlying problem remains unaddressed, 'relief' is temporary at best. Ergo, the cycle repeats itself indefinitely: low self-confidence, self-esteem, low levels of self-worth and self-love... followed by the manifestation of attention-whoring... followed by a 'high'. This high is, of course, followed by an abysmal crash.
No kidding right?
However, nothing is 'clear' or 'obvious' where irrational behaviors are concerned. So, for the sake of this discussion... let's *not* take anything for granted.
To re-cap:
Continuing....
Let's explore the different types of attention-getting behaviors!
_________________________________________________
Recognizing attention getting personae:
Mr./Mrs "Why me":
This individual may feign or exaggerate an illness or injury... possibly even causing or inviting subsequent injuries. This attention-whore's special skill is in manipulating people through their emotions... especially manipulating that subsequent feeling of guilt. Apparently it's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone with a plausible "poor me" tale.
SuperDude:
This individual dashes in to "rescue" people whenever the opportunity arises... well, whenever one arises that he/she can use to their self-glorification. Said individual gets off on basking in the glory of his/her 'humanitarian' actions...preying on any person unlucky enough to be suffering in their vicinity.
The HandyMan:
This person puts themselves 'in charge' all the time. To some, this paints the person as 'reliable' or 'dependable'. However, helping people is but a means to an end for this individual... as being the center of attention is the primary goal.
Manipulative Bitch:
This individual may exploit relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions... twisting words and misquoting is this individual's strength. While said individual may not do any physical harm, emotional injury is a given. A common attention-seeking ploy by this individual is to claim he/she is being persecuted, victimized, excluded, isolated or ignored.
Mr./Mrs. Dramatist:
Every incident is an opportunity worth exploiting where this individual is concerned. It doesn't matter how insignificant the argument is... it can be exaggerated and, if necessary, distorted to a 10 on the Richter scale.
"Aint-got-time-for-shit"Man:
This individual is the absolute busiest person in the world... or so he/she says. Everyday routines, which Joe Average would regard as not being worth sharing, are relayed in a larger-than-life fashion. The world is their audience... and their tale is always epic. This oh-so-busy person, who never has a moment to themselves (though they seem to find a moment, or 15, to impress the world with their story-telling skills), let it rip whenever he/she has a chance... of course, never too busy to tell you how busy he/she is.
The Fucking Fake :
This person is always on the defense. Whenever they are outwitted, this person automatically reaches for the denial escape hatch. *Wham* *Pow* - counterattack - *duck* *run* *re-direct*
Counterattack delivered, this person then switches the convo on its head... claiming to be the victim. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears. Significant others are supposed to stop arguing and hand you a tissue and a shoulder to cry on... aren't they?
Joe Bi-polar:
This guy/gal is hysterical. She/he switches from boisterously happy to miserable as f*ck, and back again...almost at the drop of a hat. Don't be confused however... This behavior is meant solely to keep those around him/her on their toes: never complacent... always tripping over themselves to cater to this individual's needs. Joe BP remains at the center... clearly the most important person in someone's universe.
Threatening Tommy:
One of my favorite personalities really. Threatening Tommy (also called 'Tommie' where relevant) threatens their significant other with uncharacteristic behaviors. e.g. Threatening Tommie and her beau Joe have an argument. Tommie threatens to go to the bar and get wasted. What's uncommon and 'unbalanced' about that? Well the threat of getting shitfaced aside, Tommie actually has no intention of going to the bar. Her sole intention is to goad a reaction from Joe... to see if he "really cares". Disturbed much?
Dastardly Dan:
Also known as "Dannie" where feasible. This individual threatens to do stupid things...and does 'em. "Joe... You don't give me any attention, so I'm going to go to a bar and bang the first guy I see!" Psycho-much? Yep. But this personality is also frequent-much. I think this is the personality that guys (and i can only speak as a guy) fear. Anyway, I've digressed here. Dan(nie) thrives on the immediate self-gratification derived from attention received...regardless of the source. "Danger...it's no stranger".
_________________________________________________
Ok... So it's been established that it is likely that some facet of attention-seeking behavior will occur.
It *is* an established norm after all.
We've outlined the ways in which said behavior manifests.
But... what *is* it?
Lynne Forrest, in her article "The Three Faces of Victim: An Overview of the Drama Triangle" outlined 3 personae... each of which appears to be part of the psyche of an attention-getter.
So... would it be correct to say that an attention-getter has a divergent personality?
**(That's Nark-Speak for: "THE BITCH IS CRAZY!!!)**
Along this vein, some would label attention-getting behavior a facet of narcissistic personality disorder.
"Di-vergent".
"Di-sorder".
Di-sease?
Maybe.
I leave you with those questions.
Regards,
-Corey Springer
AKA "Narkissos"
Owner of: Apollo Fitness Barbados & "The NarkSide" Fitness Forums
...Children masquerading as adults, or bullies masquerading as victims?
By Corey Springer
Written for: The NarkSide; Wednesday 13th May 3:35 a.m.
Re-Written: Wednesday July 15 2009 for Kurama Magazine
Confused as to why I would be writing about relationship issues?
Don't be.
Health is about synergy... i.e. a sum of parts, each area influencing and supporting another.
Relationship issues affect how we function.
Relationships affect how our bodies work.
So... today's rant is about relationships!
I'm *very* sure many of your have been on the receiving end of erratic behavior(s) in your relationships. Anyone who has spent but five minutes perusing the NarkSide relationship forum would probably come to the very same conclusion: Crazy bitches abound. I use 'bitches' in an extremely generalized manner for this discussion... as 'bitch behavior' isn't limited to any one sex at any one time. Let's face it... guys and girls both get their undies in a bunch.
That being said, anecdotal evidence would suggest that attention-seeking behavior is surprisingly frequent in adult relationships.
"Really Nark?"
"Yes dude!"
Oftentimes significant others seek to be the "the center of attention" so as to alleviate feelings of inadequacy.
Again:
"Really Nark?"
"Yes dude!"
However, as the underlying problem remains unaddressed, 'relief' is temporary at best. Ergo, the cycle repeats itself indefinitely: low self-confidence, self-esteem, low levels of self-worth and self-love... followed by the manifestation of attention-whoring... followed by a 'high'. This high is, of course, followed by an abysmal crash.
No kidding right?
However, nothing is 'clear' or 'obvious' where irrational behaviors are concerned. So, for the sake of this discussion... let's *not* take anything for granted.
To re-cap:
- Both males and females are whiny as f*ck
- Attention-seeking behavior is common as hell
- Attention-seeking behavior = Epic fail.
Continuing....
Let's explore the different types of attention-getting behaviors!
_________________________________________________
Recognizing attention getting personae:
Mr./Mrs "Why me":
This individual may feign or exaggerate an illness or injury... possibly even causing or inviting subsequent injuries. This attention-whore's special skill is in manipulating people through their emotions... especially manipulating that subsequent feeling of guilt. Apparently it's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone with a plausible "poor me" tale.
SuperDude:
This individual dashes in to "rescue" people whenever the opportunity arises... well, whenever one arises that he/she can use to their self-glorification. Said individual gets off on basking in the glory of his/her 'humanitarian' actions...preying on any person unlucky enough to be suffering in their vicinity.
The HandyMan:
This person puts themselves 'in charge' all the time. To some, this paints the person as 'reliable' or 'dependable'. However, helping people is but a means to an end for this individual... as being the center of attention is the primary goal.
Manipulative Bitch:
This individual may exploit relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions... twisting words and misquoting is this individual's strength. While said individual may not do any physical harm, emotional injury is a given. A common attention-seeking ploy by this individual is to claim he/she is being persecuted, victimized, excluded, isolated or ignored.
Mr./Mrs. Dramatist:
Every incident is an opportunity worth exploiting where this individual is concerned. It doesn't matter how insignificant the argument is... it can be exaggerated and, if necessary, distorted to a 10 on the Richter scale.
"Aint-got-time-for-shit"Man:
This individual is the absolute busiest person in the world... or so he/she says. Everyday routines, which Joe Average would regard as not being worth sharing, are relayed in a larger-than-life fashion. The world is their audience... and their tale is always epic. This oh-so-busy person, who never has a moment to themselves (though they seem to find a moment, or 15, to impress the world with their story-telling skills), let it rip whenever he/she has a chance... of course, never too busy to tell you how busy he/she is.
The Fucking Fake :
This person is always on the defense. Whenever they are outwitted, this person automatically reaches for the denial escape hatch. *Wham* *Pow* - counterattack - *duck* *run* *re-direct*
Counterattack delivered, this person then switches the convo on its head... claiming to be the victim. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears. Significant others are supposed to stop arguing and hand you a tissue and a shoulder to cry on... aren't they?
Joe Bi-polar:
This guy/gal is hysterical. She/he switches from boisterously happy to miserable as f*ck, and back again...almost at the drop of a hat. Don't be confused however... This behavior is meant solely to keep those around him/her on their toes: never complacent... always tripping over themselves to cater to this individual's needs. Joe BP remains at the center... clearly the most important person in someone's universe.
Threatening Tommy:
One of my favorite personalities really. Threatening Tommy (also called 'Tommie' where relevant) threatens their significant other with uncharacteristic behaviors. e.g. Threatening Tommie and her beau Joe have an argument. Tommie threatens to go to the bar and get wasted. What's uncommon and 'unbalanced' about that? Well the threat of getting shitfaced aside, Tommie actually has no intention of going to the bar. Her sole intention is to goad a reaction from Joe... to see if he "really cares". Disturbed much?
Dastardly Dan:
Also known as "Dannie" where feasible. This individual threatens to do stupid things...and does 'em. "Joe... You don't give me any attention, so I'm going to go to a bar and bang the first guy I see!" Psycho-much? Yep. But this personality is also frequent-much. I think this is the personality that guys (and i can only speak as a guy) fear. Anyway, I've digressed here. Dan(nie) thrives on the immediate self-gratification derived from attention received...regardless of the source. "Danger...it's no stranger".
_________________________________________________
Ok... So it's been established that it is likely that some facet of attention-seeking behavior will occur.
It *is* an established norm after all.
We've outlined the ways in which said behavior manifests.
But... what *is* it?
Lynne Forrest, in her article "The Three Faces of Victim: An Overview of the Drama Triangle" outlined 3 personae... each of which appears to be part of the psyche of an attention-getter.
So... would it be correct to say that an attention-getter has a divergent personality?
**(That's Nark-Speak for: "THE BITCH IS CRAZY!!!)**
Along this vein, some would label attention-getting behavior a facet of narcissistic personality disorder.
"Di-vergent".
"Di-sorder".
Di-sease?
Maybe.
I leave you with those questions.
Regards,
-Corey Springer
AKA "Narkissos"
Owner of: Apollo Fitness Barbados & "The NarkSide" Fitness Forums
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